Bella has an insane crush on a vampire named Edward Cullen. Need I say more?
Edward isn't really a vampire. He's a fairy (and a dang ugly one). He likes stalking Bella and showing off his sparkly skin. His favorite food is animal blood.
Jacob is a werewolf. He likes taking off his shirt whenever there's a full moon outside.
Emmett is also a sparkly dude. He's very strong and he loves ESPN.
Rosalie is basically a total *beep.* She's all vain and annoying. And she sparkles.
Alice is the only awesome character in Twilight, despite being all sparkly. She likes shopping and awesome hairstyles. And she's psychic!
I take that back, Jasper is actually kind of awesome. He actually prefers human blood. But he sparkles, which totally ruins it.
Renesmee is Edward and Bella's child. She was an evil demon when she was a fetus and she has a really dumb name.
(I'm probably forgetting a ton, but I'm too lazy.)
