Q: How do I "stand in holy places" if there's so much unholiness at school?
A: Simple. Don't go to school.
Q: Is it okay to invite boys and girls to my party even though we're not sixteen yet?
A: Of course it is, dummy! You're not dating.
Q: Some friends and I are thinking of going on a killing spree for a group date (I'm sixteen). Is that okay?
A: Yes. As long as you're in a group, it's fine.
Q: Why is dying your hair crazy colors and getting piercings wrong?
A: Because we're boring and we don't believe in creativity.
Q: Is heavy metal bad, even if the lyrics are clean?
A: Yes. Listen to good, wholesome songs. Loud music is immoral.
Q: What about those obscene pop songs they play at stake dances? Aren't those bad?
A: Don't be so sensitive. They're just songs.
Q: I have a sarcastic sense of humor. Is sarcasm bad?
A: Yes. Sarcasm is evil and you'll go to hell for being sarcastic.
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